GUEST BLOG: "I Will Survive": A Celebration for a New Year

I still remember the energy surging through my body that New Year's Eve as the words of Gloria Gaynor's I Will Survive echoed through the room. Sadness mixed with joy of freedom transformed into renewed confidence as I danced with friends welcoming a new year. I am a survivor; I will survive. I've moved from putting one foot in front of the other to dancing in celebration of a new secular year.

There was a time I couldn't imagine it - dancing, singing, feeling hopeful. No surprise when a marriage counselor who asked if I was fearful of my partner never followed up on my affirmative response - after posing the question in front of him. When clergy could not hear the depth of my cries as clear as the sound of the shofar. Thankfully, sparks of light broke through the darkness in the simple actions of friends. I found the courage to follow my heart, to find my voice, to release my victimhood. The transformation from victim to survivor grew out of spiritual practice, honing an awareness of the Divine in the world in which I lived. Slowly, over time, I again noticed the holy around, beyond and within me as well.

The chorus to Gaynor's song calls out, "...I will survive. Long as I know how to love, I know I'll stay alive. I've got all my life to live, and all my love to give and I'll survive. I will survive." Wisely, the lyricist understands that strength and life rest on love. And life, well, it's meant to be lived. Such is the message of the first insertion in the High Holy Day Amidah - Zochreinu l'hayyim, melech hafetz bahayyim. v'kotveinu b'sefer hahayyim, l'ma'ancha Elohim hayyim - Remember us for life, regal one who delights in life, and write us into the book of life, for Your sake, Holy One of life.

Whether we emphasize spiritual, physical or spiritual AND physical life, God (however we internalize the representation of that word) loves life, the opportunities that arise from each new holy breath. We pray to be noticed (zochreinu), to bring change and make life holy (kotveinu). How potentially uplifting for a survivor of domestic violence to utter these words calling for divine partnership in all realms. How devasting to experience these words in prayer and in life as passive, empty and devoid of commitment.

Zochreinu l'hayyim calls on us to work on God's behalf. The High Holy Day liturgy emphasizes life as a catalyst for action. The Torah tells us to love our neighbor as ourselves, demanding that we love ourselves enough to extend to and beyond our needs, to embrace the orphan and the widow, to risk standing apart in pursuit of sacred space and holy community. I bristle at the old refrain of influential members of Jewish community who receive no sanctions for brutalizing - emotionally and/or physically - their life partners; of spiritual leaders with fluid boundaries bestowed with applause for staking out their place on the bimah (Bronx Rabbi Who Took Boys Naked to Sauna Will Keep his Job).

Children must be safe at home, with friends, relatives and in houses of worship. Clergy must step up, be responsive to victims of abuse no matter the depth of the perpetrator's pockets. They must think outside of their experience, educate and advocate, model for and with community what it means to live beyond one's life. In this new year, may the old repetitive stories become new as we hold one another accountable, change the landscape and take a page from God's book, writing ourselves into the book of life.

Rabbi Lisa Gelber is editor of A Journey Towards Freedom: a Haggadah for Victims of Domestic Violence, among other DV resources, and serves on the spiritual direction team at Hebrew Union College - Jewish Institute of Religion . She lives, writes, and runs in NYC with her daughter Zahara.