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You are here: Home >> Blog >> GUEST BLOG: Bettie Williams Watson: Ending the Silence, Defeating the Shame {16 Days of Activism: Stories That Inspire Our Work}

GUEST BLOG: Bettie Williams Watson: Ending the Silence, Defeating the Shame {16 Days of Activism: Stories That Inspire Our Work}

Dec 07, 2015 — Categories: , ,

I met Bettie Williams-Watson 8 years ago when she presented a workshop on domestic violence at a faith-based women’s conference in Seattle. Bettie told a compelling story about her abusive relationship with her husband, a minister who would batter her during the week but was careful to avoid hitting her or kicking her on parts of her body where bruises could be seen in church on Sunday. He was over 7 feet tall with huge feet and hands and she describes him as a lethal weapon. One day she realized that if she stayed he would kill her and their children.

I met Bettie Williams-Watson 8 years ago when she presented a workshop on domestic violence at a faith-based women’s conference in Seattle. Bettie told a compelling story about her abusive relationship with her husband, a minister who would batter her during the week but was careful to avoid hitting her or kicking her on parts of her body where bruises could be seen in church on Sunday. He was over 7 feet tall with huge feet and hands and she describes him as a lethal weapon. One day she realized that if she stayed he would kill her and their children. As Bettie told her story, she educated us about the psychological aspects of domestic violence. I could see the light bulbs go on for the women in that room as we began to understand the long-term barriers that survivors face.

A few months after meeting Bettie, I accepted work with FaithTrust Institute and she continues to inspire me and everyone she meets to speak out against gender based violence. Her journey of healing and taking back her power spans a period of 35 years.  She was part of one of FaithTrust Institute’s foundational videos, Broken Vows: Religious Perspectives on Domestic Violence. Whenever we show Broken Vows at training events, people ask about the women who shared their stories in the film, now that years have passed. In Bettie’s case, she has been busy changing the world.

Bettie founded Multi-Communities (M.I.C.), an organization dedicated to peace-building. In addition, she does trainings with FaithTrust Institute. She is committed to challenging African American faith communities to address intimate partner violence. She eloquently describes how it feels to sit in church every Sunday feeling like “my name is shame and silence.”  The one time she spoke up about the abuse in her church, she was ridiculed and shunned. As often happens, she was told that domestic violence was her cross to bear in this life. Like so many, Bettie was faced with the choice of  keeping her children and herself safe, while fearing this would alienate her from her immediate family, church family and faith community.

At M.I.C. she collaborates with two men of faith who have accepted her personal call to action and are an integral part of her organization’s work to change the male mentality of the Black church and teach young men to respect women. She has taken her work a step further through her Intergenerational Peace Building Project for Teens, Young Adults and Senior Citizens. This program seeks to form multiple community circles to create sustainable peace through sharing dialogues, building new bridges of respect, and sharing traditions and stories.  Bettie has big plans for the future as well. She working to find a way to share violence prevention art projects in public spaces to raise funds to serve families impacted by violence.

The way that Bettie faced adversity in her life and began helping others brought me to the realization that I could use my skills to make a difference in how faith communities address domestic violence. As I matured in my faith journey, I was looking for a way to walk in faith each day and I was compelled be directly involved in the work to end violence against women.  Her story reminded me of the women in my family who are survivors. It gave me clarity about how difficult it must have been for them to be silent for most of their lives. She helps us all recognize that we have been placed here at this moment to reflect on the gifts we have been given to help others create a new path to a better life.

NOTE: You can see a brief snippet of Broken Vows on YouTube.

Swirl

Carolyn Scott Brown is the Director of Learning and Resources for FaithTrust Institute.
She is an author, psychologist, and consultant, with an undergraduate degree from Brown University and a Master’s Degree in Counseling Psychology from Columbia University. She is the author of
The Black Woman’s Guide to Menopause: Doing Menopause with Heart and Soul.

In October 2013, Carolyn was one of 45 women recognized for community service by the National Council of Negro Women-Seattle Section at their 45th Anniversary. In addition to her work at FaithTrust Institute, Carolyn volunteers to speak with faith communities about domestic violence.

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