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Domestic Violence

And What About the Good Samaritan?

And What About the Good Samaritan?

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A woman recently shared with me her experience of being assaulted and stabbed by her abusive husband. As she recovered from her injuries, she turned to her church, expecting pastoral care and support.

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“Where Are We?”

“Where Are We?”

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As I was presenting a workshop recently on how we should challenge the roadblocks which the church can present to battered women and affirm the resources, I noticed one participant was very quiet and reserved.

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NFL Player Homicide-Suicide: This Is Domestic Violence

NFL Player Homicide-Suicide: This Is Domestic Violence

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A head injury? Alcohol? Drugs? Depression? An argument? Everyone who knew Jovan Belcher is grasping for an answer to “why?” We only know what we read in the paper, but there is nothing all that unusual here when a man kills his partner and himself. The story is pretty predictable. This is domestic violence.

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Jimmy Carter Challenges His Church

Jimmy Carter Challenges His Church

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“The turning point in every social justice movement occurs when the authentic leadership of survivors is met with the genuine commitments of our most power social institutions.” So said my colleague, Judith Beals, in 2002 in the midst of the disclosure of extensive sexual abuse of children by Catholic priests.

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GUEST BLOG: Bettie Williams Watson: Ending the Silence, Defeating the Shame {16 Days of Activism: Stories That Inspire Our Work}

GUEST BLOG: Bettie Williams Watson: Ending the Silence, Defeating the Shame {16 Days of Activism: Stories That Inspire Our Work}

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I met Bettie Williams-Watson 8 years ago when she presented a workshop on domestic violence at a faith-based women’s conference in Seattle. Bettie told a compelling story about her abusive relationship with her husband, a minister who would batter her during the week but was careful to avoid hitting her or kicking her on parts of her body where bruises could be seen in church on Sunday. He was over 7 feet tall with huge feet and hands and she describes him as a lethal weapon. One day she realized that if she stayed he would kill her and their children.

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Before “Yes, We Can” . . .

Before “Yes, We Can” . . .

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Before “Yes, We Can,” there was “WE CAN.” Women Empowered Committed Against Negativity (WE CAN) is an organization whose office is in a house on the outskirts of Cape Town, South Africa. The leader of WE CAN is Loretta Joseph. She is a Roman Catholic laywoman who has organized Catholic and Protestant women outside the church in order to get the work done—i.e. the work of supporting and empowering women in their real lives.

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Beyond Shameful

Beyond Shameful

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Dear Forty-five Obstructionist Senators: The President used the word “shameful” to describe the Republican filibuster two days ago in the U.S. Senate of bipartisan legislation to address gun violence. “Shameful” doesn't even begin to describe what you did. This was an act of pure cowardice.

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Good News for New Year 5777

Good News for New Year 5777

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As I wish blessings in the New Year to Jewish friends and colleagues, there is also good news to celebrate. There is finally a solution to the problem of the get in Modern Orthodox Judaism. For centuries, women have suffered because a husband in a divorce refused to give the get, the agreement to divorce, to his wife. Orthodox Jewish wives, committed to Jewish law, could find themselves bound to a spouse for life which meant that they could not remarry. Many Jewish battered women have suffered from get refusal on the part of an abuser and even rabbinic tribunals have been powerless to force a husband to give a get. Now there is an answer: a halakhic prenup.

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“Love-All That and More” Debuts in Cape Town!

“Love-All That and More” Debuts in Cape Town!

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Since my visit to South Africa is supported by the U.S. Department of State Speakers’ Program, the Consulate staff has arranged some of my meetings. They asked me to go to a YMCA afterschool program and meet with the youth workers and the youth. It has been many years since I worked specifically in youth ministry, but I pressed ahead—and I am so glad I did.

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Be The Church

Be The Church

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I recently preached at my home church on the issue of justice for survivors of sexual or domestic violence. During my sermon, a member of the congregation got up and left. Obviously I didn’t know why. I called and emailed the next day just to check in. Her first response was that the sermon triggered some very old memories and she just needed to leave. But the next day, she emailed and said that really what happened was that “you are the first person I have ever heard exhibit understanding and compassion for people who have had these experiences.”

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Happy Father's Day

Happy Father's Day

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When I was about nine years old, I remember a dinner table conversation between my father and mother. I think we had just received news that my favorite uncle, the doctor, had beaten up my aunt.

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Women’s Work Is Never Done

Women’s Work Is Never Done

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March 8 is International Women’s Day. So I was pleased this past week to be in New York City for events surrounding the 54th Annual meeting of the United Nations Commission on the Status of Women. Not only is women’s work never done, our agenda continues to expand.

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Santa Targets His Own Family

Santa Targets His Own Family

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An ex-husband took advantage of the annual family gathering at his in-laws’ house to inflict his violence on his ex-wife and her family. He appeared at the door dressed as Santa, and one of the children let him in. He opened fire on the 25 people there and then set fire to the house.

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Is the Gospel of “More Sex” Really Good News for All?

Is the Gospel of “More Sex” Really Good News for All?

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So Pastor Ed Young of the Fellowship Church in Grapevine, Texas, got the attention of the media. And his church members. He called for a week of “congregational copulation” to take people’s minds off the economy. Pastor Young has added his blessing to our already highly sexualized culture.

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"Déjà vu All Over Again"

"Déjà vu All Over Again"

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Another murder in a church; another domestic terror homicide. On Nov. 23, Joseph Pallipurath entered the St. Thomas Syarian Orthodox Kananaya Church in Clifton, NJ and killed his wife.

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The Fight to End Terrorism

The Fight to End Terrorism

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“Compare the raw numbers. In the same seven-year period [2000-2006] when 4,588 U.S. soldiers [in combat] and police officers [on duty] were killed by hostiles or by accident, more than 8,000 women – nearly twice as many – were shot, stabbed, strangled, or beaten to death by the intimate males in their lives."

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The Invisibility of Domestic Violence in Faith Communities

The Invisibility of Domestic Violence in Faith Communities

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Last week, Charles Parsons murdered his wife during a couples’ counseling session at Calvary Lutheran Church south of Seattle. He turned himself in and has been charged with first-degree murder and assault.

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A Spiritual Battle between Good and Evil?

A Spiritual Battle between Good and Evil?

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Is addressing domestic violence a spiritual battle between good and evil? This is the question I received last week from a colleague. As I pondered this question, I sent a note to several other colleagues for their input. I think the answer we all agreed to is “yes and no.” Or as one Muslim colleague said, “Essential and not sufficient.”

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When It's 'Our Turn'?

When It's 'Our Turn'?

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I have spoken with hundreds of victims, survivors and perpetrators of sexual and domestic violence over the forty years of my ministry. Teenagers, adults abused as children, young and old adults abused by a spouse, assaulted by a co-worker, a pastor, an acquaintance, or a stranger. What I had not yet realized was how many of my senior peers are now facing the abuse of their adult daughters and sons by a spouse or partner.

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It’s Domestic Violence Awareness Month and the Color Is Purple

It’s Domestic Violence Awareness Month and the Color Is Purple

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October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Did you know that? It’s also Breast Cancer Awareness Month. I’m sure you knew that because you can’t help but see the pink all around. On my flight last week, the airline was selling pink lemonade and martinis as well as collecting donations--all to go to breast cancer research. Football players in NFL games this month are wearing pink! Pink?! How cool is that? So why aren’t the airlines selling grape soda and football players wearing purple in support of ending domestic violence?

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