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"Christian Domestic Discipline" - Really?

Some days it’s embarrassing to be a Christian – and not in a good way. It’s those days when something like “Christian Domestic Discipline” is spread across the internet and I have to wonder, who are these people? For those of you not readily familiar with this lifestyle choice, here is the definition: "A Christian Domestic Discipline (CDD) marriage is simply a traditional, male-led, Christian marriage which utilizes aspects of Domestic Discipline. It is set up according to Biblical standards." The "methods" include corporeal punishment such as spanking with objects.

Some days it’s embarrassing to be a Christian – and not in a good way. It’s those days when something like “Christian Domestic Discipline” is spread across the internet and I have to wonder, who are these people?

For those of you not readily familiar with this lifestyle choice, here is the definition: “A Christian Domestic Discipline (CDD) marriage is simply a traditional, male-led, Christian marriage which utilizes aspects of Domestic Discipline. It is set up according to Biblical standards.”  The “methods” include corporeal punishment such as spanking with objects. CDD is touted as being based on consent which is discussed at length in a remarkable piece of convoluted logic that concludes with she doesn’t mean “no” when she says “no.”

Because what happens when she says “no”? She’s being disobedient and merits further punishment. How can you have a real relationship with another adult based on punishment and reward? Here’s the thing: authentic consent is based on equality of power which is the ability to say “yes” or the ability to say “no” and not be punished for it.

At the risk of stating the obvious, CDD is a pathetic attempt to baptize domestic violence with a typical religious excuse. As usual, the biblical principle upon which this ideology is based begins with Ephesians 5:22 (“Wives, be subject to your husbands as you are to the Lord.”) neglecting the preceding verse 5:21 (“Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ.”).

Lest we forget, the Bible was freely used in the 19th century to legitimize slavery in this country. Sadly it is still being used today to legitimize slavery in marriage: “And as for what a man gets out of it, besides a woman who obeys his every command, Vera [a CDD wife] says her partner is satisfied by her growth. ‘He enjoys seeing the person he owns, his property, become the thing God wants her to be. It might sound weird, but that works for me.’” Property?  Herein lies the fundamental problem with this practice.

Women, beware of “Christian” men who try to convince you that CDD has anything to do with God’s will for you. It doesn’t.

Rev. Dr. Marie Fortune 
FaithTrust Institute
www.faithtrustinstitute.org

P.S. Click here to read and sign the statement "Faith Leaders Against Christian Domestic Discipline."

 

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