Dear Pat Robertson: Please, Please Retire

I realize it may be a waste of time to even comment on your uninformed “advice” which you continue to dole out without reservation. But some days I just can’t let it go without comment because there are still people out there who listen to you. Your latest opinion offers an opportunity to clarify once again how a faith leader or friend can help a battered woman, and how an uninformed response risks perpetuating a violent, dangerous situation.

The question was posed to you by a teenage boy: “Whenever my parents fight, my dad threatens my mom with his gun...as a child, I get nervous and worried when this happens.  Even my younger brother saw this incident. What should we do about it and him?”

Your advice?

“Well, again, you don’t want to get your father busted, but you could...You ought to go to your mother and say, ‘Mom, this thing is scaring me, and I ask you please to get my father to have some help.’...But you’re a kid, what do you do? You know? Your mother ought to take care of that.”

So here’s the deal: if the mom could have “taken care of that,” she would have. She is a battered woman; her husband is using coercive power to control her and probably the kids as well. She has probably tried to leave him only to have her own life threatened or be threatened with losing her children in a custody fight if she divorces him. Or she went to her pastor who told her she can’t divorce him. He will almost certainly not stop his abusive behavior without intervention and treatment. In fact, there is a good chance that the abuse will escalate.

If you are concerned for the survival, safety, and well-being of this teenage boy and his mother, you should have responded to him differently.

Let me suggest some alternative advice for this teenager based on an understanding of domestic violence and the complexity of the situation he and his mom face.

My advice:

“Talk to your mom and share your anxiety and fear of your dad’s abusive behavior. Urge her to talk with a domestic violence agency or call the National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-7233 (www.thehotline.org). You can call, too, and just talk with someone about your feelings. If you feel afraid of your dad’s threats or violence, call 911. It’s okay to get him busted if it keeps him from harming you and your mom and brother.”

And Pat, please retire. For everyone’s sake.

Your sister in Christ,   

Rev. Dr. Marie M. Fortune
www.faithtrustinstitute.org
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